Friday, April 22, 2011

The first step is a big one...

So this is me back after a very long time of being away from this blog, my life, my friends, my self. In recent months it feels like my entire life has come to a crashing reality, that I for all my togetherness am quite the opposite on the inside.

There was a time in my life when everything I did was for other people either, there were lots of reasons of which I can not remeber now but I do know that for the most part they were not for me and though there were people who did things for me they were few and far between. I know that it may seem as though I am just remembering all the bad things and I some could say quit being a drama queen but those would be the very people who would have been asking many things of people and not being able to return the favour.

Don't get me wrong I have had a great life growing up awesome parents, a sister that I love and kids that I adore and would not change one thing in my past for. I moved here about a year ago wanting to give my girls more options when what really seems to have happened since moving here is I have met the girl friends that I wish I have known all my life. They are the most amazing women and I love every single one of them.

I haven't ever really had the opportunity to ever really open my self up to anyone, I have done that on two occasions in the past couple of weeks and I am so thankfull to have the security and trust with the women in my life to be able to do that for really what is the first time in my life.

I know I have a long way to go to get to where I want to be and many things to share with you all but what one thing I am finally sure of is that I will have sincere support from my girlfriends, and that is an amazing feeling.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

My last three months!

Man oh man it it was not one thing it was another in the past week....

It has been almost three months since I decided to take this journey with a group of ladies, some of whom I knew and some not. When I first read the invite for the group I was hesitant but not really sure why now that I look back.

I missed the first meeting but decided to attend the next one and I can't really express how glad Iam that I did. It was a pretty standard meeting to start really everyone showed up we talked abit about our goals and weighed in. We started to chat and well before I knew it the time was almost ten thirty. I went home and was so excited about the opportunities that were running through my head.

I had decided that night that I was going to take back my sanity, my self respect, my health and to ultimately lose weight. I did have some ideas as to how much I would like to lose but was not sure as to how much I would actually lose. Pretty much my entire life I had some sort of weight issue, I was always trying to lose weight and then ultimately when I did it would come back most of the time with some extra friends. Not really untill I had my children did I really start to feel not very happy with myself or the way I looked.

When I moved back home with my two oldest children I had my entire family around and a big circle of friends but for some reason I always felt so alone. I really didn't talk about it with anyone and continued on with my life. Thankfully I hadmy children they really helped me just pick it up and continue on.

After the birth of my third daughter I moved to the lower mainland and was planning on starting a new life. I joined the meet up web page which led me to here. In the last three months I have gained control of my life again. I started with my eating habits I have gone from snacking on crappy foods to having a stocked fridge of veggies and fruits. My daughters have really supported me in this decision as well, we are all eating more healthier and area feeling great.

I have also with the support of the group started to exercise on a regular basis, I am not going to lie it was terribly difficult to start but it is getting easier. On the days that I try to put it off the kids and ladies in the group are right there pushing and encouraging me.

I may have not met my weight loss goals yet but I know that with the support from my new friends that it is no longer something that I want to do but a goal that I am going to reach in the not to distant future. So if you are reading this and want to lose the weight get healthier and take back your life, you can do it. If you don't have a good support system on your side find yourself one and don't let anything stop you.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Down Day

Today was a test for sure, I woke up so tired. It was snowing so I decided to take the bus, which is totally fine I enjoy the ride to work, the down side is that I was rushed had to take granola bars for breakfast didn't really pack a great lunch and felt hungry at eleven tonight.

I have been so excited about my Mary Kay business, today I got my starter kit and went through it abit. I am not sure if maybe I am a little overwhelmed or bummed cause i have not booked anyone for a facial yet but for some reason I find my self on the sad side today.

It is bizzare how fast ones mood can change, I should be totally excited I lost 2 1/2 pounds at weigh in today and I am pleased with my self for sure and I really hope that this passes. I do have quite a few things going on in my life and not all of them are positive. I was doing so well in not talking about it pushing it under a rug. It seemed easier that way and besides no one knows that I am so excited on the outside and realing on the inside, I have actually spent most of my life perfecting this. I can guarente you if you asked any of my friends from school or people who knew me when I moved back to the okanagan, they would say that Tammy is the most happy person I know.

I guess maybe in order to get better I have to admit these things to myself, which of course is hard. I am sitting here wondering how I have gone my whole life really doing so much for other people and not myself really I am surprised sometimes looking back on my life that I never had a mental break.... Have I gotten so good at hiding things that I am hiding my own feelings from my self who knows but I sure hope I decide to share them with me soon.

Man I feel like I am sixteen again writing in my diary with all my problems and then feeling better afterward only to start the same process over again. I am hoping that I can finnally break this habit and start to communicate my true feelings especially to myself even if I may not like or other people may not like what I am really feeling at the moment.

On a good note I have stayed with my weight loss challenge to my self and not binged on food tonight to drown my sorrows, which really is a step in the right direction, anyway I am feeling better to finally get it out there even if I didn't actually tell someone at least people can read it.

Tomorrow can only get better.......

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Day 11 and still going strong!!

Ok I am tired, sore, excited, feeling great, proud, man I could go on. Since Saturday's bootcamp and starting Mary Kay I have been renewed with a sense of myself I haven't had in quite some time and it feels great.

I think things are finally going to start getting on track, I have to admit that when I first started attending the 90 days to life I was just excited to get some new friends wasn't really putting my all into it. But I can say with out a doubt that has changed. I have set goals for my self and will I said WILL reach them.

But busy day tomorrow so I am off to bed.......

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Day 9 of 356 to go!

Wow, if I knew that I was goign to feel that much better from one bootcamp class I would have went years ago. On saturday morning when I woke up I was feeling optimistic and quite frankly a little on the scared side as well. I have finally commited myself to this 100% and well quite frankly didn't want to start off on a bad note. I am so glad to say that I felt great!

We started off with warm up that quickly led into a fitness test being our first calss and all. I didn't like burpees in school and I can say I don't like them now but I pushed through the first couple of them and am proud to say that in the two minutes we had to time ourselves I did fifteen which may not sound like many but I can tell you I was more then immpressed with my number!!

After that first one I was totally prepared for anything we did plank which I held for 50 sec's may not seem like much but let me tell you when your whole body starts shaking from your excerting muscles well that was the best feeling ever. The rest of the work out was filled with team work, frog jumps, streches and cool down. By the time we were at our hour mark I felt my self actually ready for more. A feeling I don't think I have ever had in my entire work out life.

I am so glad that I was able to find the money to go to this class, this had definitely renewed my belief in my self that I can accomplish anything with positive thinking. Which is why I know that I will be a success in my Mary Kay venture as well!!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Day 6 of 359 days to go...

Well yesterday, yes I fell asleep last night and forgot to do my daily write up;( anyway yesterday was a pretty good day. Finally got back into the swing of things for my morning ritual after being off for just over a week. I did however forget of skip a traditional breakfast for my coffee on the go, I know bad bad me. However I did do great with lunch and dinner so feel like it was a successfull day!

I was so excited to talk to the guys at work to get some leads on pampering sessions with there wives, also I went to the business next door to offer it to the ladies there. Today I am going to my bank and see if I can't get some appointments from there aswell. Tonight I am going to concentrate on making some calls and booking some appointments. My goal is to have appointments for next week and hopefully a party booked aswell.

I would really like to start today with getting a regular walk in, I know I need to start exercising on a more regular basis if I really want to meet the goals that I have set for myself. I just have to do it and I am going to do it. Well should get off for the day!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Day 5 of 360 days to go!!

Well today was a great day! I woke up in a great mood, started to walk to the bus stop and the bus was there already eekk.....I had to run a sprint of five blocks, felt kinda good after I got over the not being able to breath.
Did really well on the food front breakfast, lunch light snack and dinner. This morning I had a friend tell me some very personal news, unfortunately it was not very pleasant. I am a firm beleiver that we all go through things for a reason and today I finally found out why my first marrige ended the way it did and that is so that I can be here for my friend who is now going through something that I did aswell.

I know that I am here to help her through this difficult time however I can, and that made my struggles all worth it.

Not to switch subjects drastically but I am so excited that I have signed up to be a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant, this is my new venture and my way to financial freedom and personal growth. I went to my second meeting last night and felt like a new person; to hear women with stories similar to mine and how this company has helped them conquer all there fears, worries, heartaches. I am so incredibly lucky to have met my friend who introduced me to this company! I can not wait to get my business started and start pampering people and to tell them what they could have as well.

Well I am off to bed to hopefully have a great sleep, good night my blogger world untill tomorrow!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Day 4 of 361 to go...

Well today it was official I have just become a Mary Kay Consultant, and it feels fantastic I have to say. I have to start off by thanking Sarah, I am not sure it would be possible to express just how much I am gratefull that she did not give up on my coming to a meeting with her.

I will be in the next month focusing on providing all my lovely friends and future friends with a complementary pampering sessions. This is something that I know is really going to help me focus on my goals and ambitions for this year.

Today I woke up feeling great, got ready and headed to work early actually got there at seven....I am most proud because while I was there I did not focus or even give a second thought to anything that might be negative in my life at the moment. Something which is hard to do all day sometimes, but I am working on that.

I had breakfast, packed a lunch drank liquids and had some physical activity. Dinner was a little late but it was really healthy so that has to balance it all out I think anyhow. I just finished putting together some Mary Kay samples to give to the guys at work for there wives hoping to drum up some clients there.

It is going to be a quick post tonight I am actually pretty tired, will see most of you tomorrow night and hope to the rest of you real soon.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Day 3 of 362 to go!

Well this morning started out good, got alot done unfortunatley it went crappy really quickly. That story of course if for a different time.

So this afternoon I went to my girlfriends house to sign up to be a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant! I am so excited about taking this journey. There are so many reasons that I am going to give this my all. The other evening when I went to my first meeting I was so moved by the stories of these ladies and the way that they support each other.

While I was getting my tutorial if you will, I was asked to tell my own story, something that I have not done in a very long time. It was pretty emtional and freeing at the same time to actually be able to share my feelings with two ladies and not have to worry about what they might think of me. I am so excited to get things going with my new business I can hardly contain my self.

Today I did very well with my food consumption, though I didn't get breakfast but lunch snacks and dinner was a huge success. I made the most fantastic Donair with falafels, nummy we are definetly going to have these more often they were so easy to make and delicious. Tomorrow I am going to back to work after being off for a week, so I am really going to have to try hard to get in all the exercise time that I can.

I am only three days into this new year but I can feel already that good things are going to happen, mostly because I am going to make them happen! At the end of this years journey I am going to report that all of the goals that I have set for myself will be completed or on there! Good night untill tomorrow.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Day 2 363 days to go!

Today was great! Got up this morning and messed around in the kitchen, I made turkey soup and chilli for the week, both of which taste nummy!!

Talked to my mom today and found out that her and dad are going on a two week cruise down to Mexico and around, sure wish I could fit in a suitcase he he he he next year..... Oh my gosh took the girls to The great escape today, how much fun was that place. On the way there one ofthem fell asleep and slept on me for about twenty minutes even with all the noise going on.

Anyhow first time to that place and it was fantastic, the little one had a great time in the toddler room and the older two had a blast on the slide/jungle gym thing, mini golf and the airtrek. We were there for almost two hours...

Didn't get much exercise in today except for chasing the kids, tomorrow hoping to get more tomorrow. Just found out today that we are going to be starting a running clinic for the sun run very exciting. I have never been a big runner, but we are going to give it a go. My goal is to atleast run half of the sun run this spring!!

I decided today that I am going to start a venture that will give me an opportunity to meet some very wonderful ladies and make some money on the side. Not to mention saving me money on some items aswell. Don't want to spill to much info untill the details are all worked out tomorrow. Untill tomorrow have a good night Blogger world....

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Day 1 of 364 to go!

Well today was the first day of my new year where I am made a decision to put my self at the top of the priority list more often.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, was able to get the bathroom and living room organized with all the boxes unpacked and things in the proper places. The kitchen is left and is going to be a big project for tomorrow morning.

I actually went to a MaryKay meeting with Sarah on Thursday and am very happy to say that I am going to her house on Monday morning to sign up to be a Consultant. I am really excited about this can't wait to start playing with all the goodies that I am going to get with my kit. I am going to be doing facials all over the place.

Tomorrow I am going to be going to several gyms to see what they have to offer then I will be signing up myself to start on my goal of exercising everyday.

Going to go and watch a movie before I head off to bed, day one feeling good, day two going to feel better!